The Killing Need for Perfection

It's fun to be good at stuff.

It's fun to offer a service that helps people.

That's why seeking to master your craft to better serve others (or yourself) is a noble aspiration.

The problem, however, is when you have unrealistic expectations, when you keep delaying getting going because you're waiting for things to be 'just right'.

I often see this crippling need for perfection in the healing world.

Healers put off starting their healing 'business' because they are waiting to get better.

They put off teaching because they are not yet 'truly' confident.

They keep telling themselves that one day, they'll know they are ready, but that day never seems to come.

Now, I'm all for dedicating yourself to your craft.

I'm all for working hard to improve your skills.

But what you've got to remember is that true competence, true understanding, only comes from experience.

You can't know you're ready ahead of time.

You can only know you're ready after the fact.

I experienced the same thing when I started teaching Reiki.

At first, I had a lot of doubts.

Would I be a good teacher?

Would the Reiki attunements work?

Would everyone 'get it'?

There was no way of answering these questions short of experimentation.

So I practised on friends. I did what I needed to do to have at least some confidence I could offer a great course – and I risked it!

I advertised my dates. I offered a satisfaction guarantee (in case things went wrong!) – and I held my first course.

Naturally, I was nervous. This was a leap of faith, a leap that might take me anywhere. But I leapt, the Fates smiled, my students loved the course and, after conducting several more of them, I did ultimately gain deep confidence in my ability as a teacher – confidence I could never have got practising my skills at home in the hope that one day I'd be good enough to teach.

Admittedly, jumping into the action doesn't mean we can't always improve, and I sometimes tell myself that 'I'm the worst I'll ever be!'

This sounds pessimistic, but whenever I say it, the flip side of the sentence is always firmly in my mind: 'I'm always getting better!'

But just because I'll be a better teacher in one year's time doesn't mean I should deprive the world of what I can teach it today.

No, it just means it's good times today and great times tomorrow!

Perfectionism in the 'Real World'

The crippling need for perfection is also readily seen outside the healing world.

Should a writer wait until he feels 'ready' to write a novel before starting one?

Should an artist wait until she feels 'ready' to hold an exhibition before holding one?

Should a musician wait until he feels 'ready' to perform in public before putting on a show?

A good way to look at these questions is to think long-term.

We often worry we will 'fail', but perhaps what really matters is to build a skill set to ensure we keep improving, to ensure there will be a next time – a next time that is even better than the one before it.

Because we can always write another book. We can always hold another exhibition. We can always put on another concert.

And we will always learn from our previous experiences.

So everything we do is built on the back of whatever comes before it – and each less-than-perfect result takes us one step closer to perfection.

We learn by doing, but to learn, we have to do!

It's like getting a degree at uni so we can find a job in the workforce.

How often does the degree really give us the relevant skills?

No, the degree proves we're willing learners, but most learning takes place on the job.

So, if you are a perfectionist, my advice is to get over it!

If you wait for things to be 'just right', then you might be waiting a long long time.

Yes, the closest you'll come to perfection is after you've got down and dirty, after you've learned through action.

So jump in, sink your boots into the earth, and get moving.

That is the only way to the mountaintop.